One night at Silver Lake

I hear the roar of the river in the background and the crippling silence it brings. It delivers a melodic rhythm that borders on oscillation. I fight the sleep it is tempting as I write.

With higher elevation comes lower temperature and greater clarity in the skies. Cleaner air, more serenity, and a greater sense of grandeur follows. And in this particular spot, a soft breeze is being carried along the path of the roaring river. Everything can be heard: the rustling of the leaves, the turbulent river, the wind roaming through the trees, and occasional animals scurrying along the forest floor.

There is an assured comfort in sleeping under the stars, albeit it is much more pleasurable to share with someone you love. The strength of the mountains is comforting and overwhelming at the same time. There is nothing out here to think about save what is immediately surrounding you. When you can feel you are a part of nature - as opposed to separate from it - it becomes so easy and rewarding to enjoy the simplest stimulus out here.

As I lay here on the soft earth with an unobstructed view of the sky - aside from the few pine trees - I think of the faith I have that I will be protected in my sleep by that which watches over me. I am completely exposed and vulnerable. However the view and freedom from the openness that comes with it calms any apprehension that is associated with this vulnerability. Small risk, small exhilaration.

Conquering dreams

Ok so there are a lot of things I have wanted to do in this world and I have been slowly conquering them. The thing is, until now I have lived in places that had limited geographic terrain so I could only do a few things at a time. This also contributed to moving so much. When I moved back to Kentucky when I got out of the navy I didn't feel like there was anything left to do there. I was bored and the only thing that I enjoyed outdoors was sand volleyball. I had my friends and family, and even a serious girlfriend, but I wasn't completely happy. I felt there were things missing.

So when I had the opportunity to move to Tampa (a spot as a service tech opened) I jumped on it. Swamps, palm tree forests, natural springs, white sand beaches, ocean kayaking, diving, spear fishing, boating, offroading... It was a blast. I potentially had an awesome life. I was in for a big shock. People in Florida are horribly miserable, out of shape, and physically stagnant. Besides the masses of retired people, I'm pretty sure all the douches in the country gravitate to Florida. They were not only vindictive, but they were very cynical and unhappy.

Anyway, I was on the verge of leaving APX because the new standards were going to make it very hard to go to school full-time. So when I got the chance to come to Utah it was some one of the most exciting news I could have imagined. I had a chance to do something I was going to school for and I would be in the mountains, in the center of the west.

I have so much to do here I don't know where to start. With the scenery and terrain, biking is becoming something I seriously want to get into. Climbing, there are a lot of lakes for distance swimming, even camping is so rewarding because of the openness and views in the morning. River kayaking, lake kayak trekking, expedition kayaking, serious and gnarly offroading that has shamed the Nitro, finding a spot in the grass on the mountainside and sleeping till sunrise.
So, my love for Utah is growing and I'm very surprised. Aside from everything outdoors, there is also the people - culture, morals, confidence, competitiveness, respect, strength, beauty... So many things I admire and respect in humans are in overwhelming abundance here. There is also a strong sense of community and family that creates an efficient society as they are all fundamentally on the same page. Its amazing how much effect the people of a culture can have on your perspective of a region/area.

These are thoughts that I have literally have on a daily basis and they keep growing as I learn more about the geography, activities, and culture of utah. I know its not for everybody - but outside of San Diego I have never felt so comfortable and happy. So as I sit here atop Squaw Peak writing I suddenly had a thought... I have to go to work.

Good quotes.

I know quotes can often be taken out of context but regardless, the following - in empty context - hold some truth, inspiration, and humor to me.

"In the future, will it be legal to poison, mutilate, or infect people, as long as you provide them with food, water, and space to die?" ~ Octavia Butler

"Letting opportunities pass you by leads to regret."

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

"If you tell the truth, you do not have to remember anything."

"Just because someone doesn't love you in the way you want, it doesn't mean that they don't love you with all that they have."

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." - Mark Twain

When it is true love, you simply just know... you feel it in your mind, heart, and soul.

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough. ~Dinah Shore

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust

You don't need a parachute to skydive... you only need a parachute to skydive twice.

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves" ~ Mathew 10:16

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ~ Nelson Mandela

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite." - Sir Winston Churchill

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them." - Mark Twain

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal." - Albert Einstein

"Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1 1/2 tons." - Popular Mechanics, 1949

"A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." - Doug Linder

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

When you walk through life's pastures, you are bound to step in manure; you can stand there and curse or you can look for the horse.

"Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead." ~ Chinese Proverb

"You can put a rattlesnake on a rollercoaster, but you can't make it bake you a cake." ~ Dr. Phil

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." ~ Douglas Adams

"The past is only a guidepost... not a hitching post." ~ Thomas Holcroft

“To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.” ~ Eva Young

"You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership." ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Back to basics

Sometimes I wonder if I will have the opportunity to go back to basics. To break out of this shell that I had never imagined myself retreating into. I seem to have been roaming nomadically for the past 10 years. Didn't necessarily have ultimate freedom, but definitely had more than I have now. I am proud of what I have accomplished, and what I am accomplishing, but sometimes I just want to let it all go and live to only think of what I need to do to stay alive and enjoy my time on this earth.

One - among a few - of the reasons I have such a deep connection to the movie Into The Wild is the same longing I have as the main character to leave my organized and structured life for immersion in nature, natural, simple, pure, evangelical. For me there is nothing more spiritual than not knowing which direction civilization is, completely off the grid, and connecting to something that is impossible to connect to in an industrial civilization.

I believe for this purpose that my move to Utah has been more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. I have the mountains in every direction I go and really for anyone that has lived outside of the West, there is little better than watching a setting sun painting a hazy sky all shades of red and blue over the peak of a mountain. To have that in your back yard is very rewarding. It's inspiring and moving. Something so simple that none of us should lose sight of.

A potential boost to health care funding

Want to tax to pay for health care?

This article discusses potential legislation to increase taxes on alcohol, tobacco, and drinks over-sweetened with high fructose corn syrup and other sugars. It is in response to the need to extend health care to the uncovered and make the individuals that increase health care costs for all to proportionally pay more.

I think it's clear that we need to come up with funding somehow. I'm sorry but given the choice between an income tax (taxation without choice) and a tax on unhealthy products, I would 100% without a doubt choose the taxation on unhealthy products. That way it is my choice whether or not I get taxed.

People are going to drink & smoke regardless of how much it costs them, and that is their choice. It's easy to lie on an insurance form about your smoking and drinking habits but there is no escaping it when the cost is being taken at the source (direct purchases).

From my perspective, a potential optional tax is being proposed on something that would encourage me to lead a healthier lifestyle. I'm all for it. We aren't talking about additionally taxing video games, cars, or anything else that falls on the slippery slope fallacy. We are talking about clear and present dangers: alcohol, tobacco, and over-sweetened drinks.

Ray LaMontagne: Trouble

Never have I been so drawn towards such lyrics until very recently. Or at least, I have lost that attraction for a very long time and it has been forgotten until recently. I was introduced to Ray recently and this song (Trouble) - expresses some of my thoughts and feelings. This guy has an amazing writing talent and I have to say that something (errr, someone) has activated a part of my emotions and feelings that I feel have been long lost. It's confusing, wonderful, and scary at the same time. So lately I have been completely immersed in lyrics such as these...

Trouble
Been doggin' my soul since the day I was born
Worry
Just will not seem to leave my mind alone
Well I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

Trouble
Feels like every time I get back on my feet
She come around and knock me down again
Worry
Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend
Well I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

She good to me now
She gave me love and affection
She good to me now
She gave me love and affection
I said I love her
She's good to me
She's good to me

How I got here

Warning: VERY LONG POST!!!

A little history on how I got to UT. I got out of the Navy in 2004 and immediately started going to school for Computer Science. I got an awesome job working a saltwater fish room at a Petland in Fort Thomas, KY (my hometown). I posted my resume on Monster when I got out of the Navy - not really looking for anything (not many jobs related to my experience would work for a full-time student). Anyway two years (June 2006) later I got a call from Shane Campbell asking if I was interested in a job with a fairly new Alarm company servicing and installing alarms. I would make my own schedule, work from home, and they would fly me to Utah, get me a rental car and hotel, and train me for a week. I thought it was a scam. I did a phone interview (like a five minute interview) and the next day he said he wanted to use me.

It was pretty exciting but I didn't really believe it was real until I got my flight and rental car info. So that's how it started. I worked the Cincinnati area for 1.5 years and had a pretty great time doing it. It was very flexible and I caught on super fast. I was at the time with Haleigh and we started getting really sick of KY. REALLY SICK. The weather, people, and scenery were getting unbearable. So I talked to Shane and found out that a spot in Tampa doing the same thing just opened up so with very little hesitation I took it! Picked up and moved everything down to Tampa. The scenery was great but the beach and water was too hot in the summer and the people were the meanest I have ever encountered. It was my personal hell. I did as much as I could do outdoors but everyone in Tampa seemed to be overweigh and inactive - thus there were not a lot of outdoor activities besides boating. I did a lot of Kayaking but there wasn't really much else to do without a boat.

Things were changing with APX (getting larger, more incorporated) and the flexibility with my schedule was being reduced every month. I could no longer go to school full-time and work full-time and I was about to start school so the time was going to come to decide between school and APX. Unfortunately I was going to choose school. Coincidentally around this time the POP servers (email) were taken down for security purposes. I sent a ticket into desktop support but they told me they were never up. So I did a little snopping and figured out the server settings for out Exchange servers and wrote up a How-To for the other techs that wanted to get email on their Outlook from home. I sent it to Shane and he forwarded it to Brett Teasdale. I got a response (semi-jokingly) asking if I wanted a job. I did another phone interview and this time I was really, really nervous. I knew it was an opportunity to start somewhere in my career path I was going to school for and to me it was much more fitting and appropriate. I mean I think in one of the questions I paused for like 10 seconds without a clue of what to say. I think I even heard Brett chuckle a little. I was told they would tell me either way in the next few days if they were interested.

THAT DAY I got a call back from Krysynt telling me I was in. I flipped the freak out. I just landed a job with the best company I could imagine working for doing approximately what I was going to school for. So about 3 weeks later I packed up my Nitro with a few essentials and started my fateful journey from Tampa to Provo. It was the happiest cross-country drive I've ever taken and as the temperature dropped my excitement inversely raised.

I very happily slept outside for two weeks (up Provo Canyon). This was in December so the average low up there was like 8*. I woke up at 6 every morning more alive than ever. Went to the gym (Throwdown), worked out, showered for work, and went to work. Went to the gym after work then back to my tent to call it a night. This adventure was supposed to last a month but a 2 snowstorms later and two tent collapses ended it a little prematurely. I woke up one morning and the volume of my tent was approximately half of what it was when I went to sleep. I was a little freaked out but discovered that it was just snow that was collapsing the walls of my three-season tent. I dug myself out and headed to work. Fast forward a few days: I came home (yes, it was my home) one night and all I saw was the apex of my tent sticking out of the snow. It was completely covered. I furiously dug the tent out again and when I opened the door everything was covered in frost. Not wanting to die (moisture + cold = g'bye), I broke everything down and slept my in my Nitro. Adventure over. Howerver, it was a wonderful adventure!!

And now, in Utah, I am surrounded by beauty and happiness. Love it.